Sisyphus and Climate Dead ends

 I am listening to a meeting on zoom.  The officials are discussing what to do but they are avoiding the real issues and at least one of them is offering misinformation to the rest of them and no one is calling this out.  I want to throw things at the screen. The next day I listen to a different meeting.  Staff are giving a "background" presentation to council that is subtly stacking the deck for the vote later that day.  The staff have 30 mins to do this.  We are allowed 3 mins each to give testimony and cannot even turn on our cameras and certainly cannot use power points.  We are easily made to sound wrong with all this extra time and ability to marshal multiple points.   But more than anything else I am again wanting to throw things at the screen because one would never know while listening to the discussion that we are addressing an issue that is part of our climate mitigation plan, or that the plan was made to try to reduce are carbon, or  that scientists say we have 7 more years to actually turn this around before it will be run away and out of control.

We have been fighting for some improved ordinances but right now we have spent a year actually fighting roll backs on existing ones.  Sigh,  each time it seems we have won some new twists happens and we are right back at the same place again.  It is hard to keep our group motivated when it is so circular.   I had started out thinking that we could bring any change to city council if we could get them to agree to it, and was thrilled with the relatively easy access to our council people here in this smaller community  than I use to live in.  But I am learning that with a city council for whom this is their "second job" and they have no salary (only an expense account) that it is really the 40 hour a week staff that run our cities and are the power behind the throne.   And I am learning the tryanny of work plans.  If it is not on staff's work plan than regardless of what council says it does not happen.  So to get anything you must start over a year ahead of time and then also lobby for it to be funded.

I feel like Sisyphus rolling that rock up the hill over and over, only to have it roll back down upon you.  Finally I am burned out.  I don't want to do this any more - it is too hard and it not effective.   I realize again that unless their is a massive public presence they will move along in status quo - business as usual - no emergency here.   And in the middle of a pandemic I can not figure out how to bring a crowd to them - they don't even meet in the city council building now.

But slowly I realize - I have been down this failed path before, with Seattle's pension board.  Inside game with no outside game.   And also I realize I have been exhausted before from pushing, pushing against nothing but a wall.   Motivated by my own sense of desperation and time shortening.   But you know this is the wrong motivation.

I am realizing I have got to learn to move only from the movement of the spirit.  To pray about what to do, to keep listening, to not be moved by ego, logic or 'shoulds"   only by what spirit says.  Because after all if we are about the paradigm shift of coming back into sync with Earth....what is She saying?  Have I even listened for that?

This is not to say that some day we will not have to change all these ordinances and the officials will not have to act as if we are in an emergency.  But I think only Spirit can show us how the doors will open, those masses will come together and how hearts and minds will be changed.